My husband suddenly doesn’t want me after being married for so long and for most of our lives.

This can be devastating when you’ve given your spouse and family a lot of your adult life and then one day it seems like your spouse is just ready to throw away everything you’ve worked for. There are many negative aspects of getting older, but it can be frustrating when a middle-aged spouse experiences a midlife crisis and believes that you best casual dating apps or your marriage are to blame. Even though you haven’t done anything wrong and nothing has significantly changed, other than your spouse’s perception of life and what (or who) he wants in it, it can feel like no matter what you do, he isn’t sure if he wants to be with you anymore.

best casual dating apps

“I have been married to my husband for almost 25 years,” for example. We actually met when we were still young. Together, we have gone through a lot: college, careers, having kids, dealing with illness, taking care of our parents, and financial ups and downs. We’ve been through it all together, you name it. One thing I will say is that the past three years  have been particularly difficult. Together, we started a business, but things didn’t go as planned. We put in a lot of effort to keep the business, but in the end, we just had to shut down. We didn’t want a failing business to cost us everything. Therefore, it was devastating for us to let this dream go. However, things settled down after we sold, which felt like a relief. Except that my husband has become somewhat insane. He has decided that he needs to take some time off and find himself now that the business isn’t taking up all of his time. He will spend a lot of time traveling. He told me that he wants to go completely alone and evaluate what he wants out of life. I assumed that I would make at least some of this trip with him. Additionally, he states that he might decide against our marriage. This breaks my heart and makes me feel like I’m gone. He swears that there is no other person, yet I feel exceptionally double-crossed. I’ve given this man so much of my life, and now he might no longer want me? He has had my back through thick and thin. And now that we’re nearing the point in our lives when our kids are less of a problem and we should hopefully be able to enjoy life and recover financially, he wants to run away? I am unsure of my options regarding this. I am aware Anastasiadate  that this is his life and that he can make his own choices, but our marriage is important to me. And being left out in this way just makes me feel awful.”

I share your feelings. At a time when I thought I was well past the age to worry about that, I also had a divorce. But sometimes life happens. I made it through. Even today, I am still married. Yet, my better half likewise went through certain things that made both of our lives a piece hard for some time. I will do my best to provide some helpful advice below.

Try to take a step back and try to imagine how he’s feeling as much as possible: I am not defending the actions of your husband. However, I believe that once you are able to view the situation from his perspective, you will be able to formulate a stance that will improve rather than deteriorate the situation. This is my personal experience. When my husband started complaining about being unhappy, my first reaction was to tell him that he was being selfish and that he was crazy if he thought life was always good. But naturally, when you respond in this manner, the unhappy person will get defensive and believe that you don’t care about their situation. Instead, try to empathize with him because he probably sees himself as a middle-aged man who is now having to recover from a significant financial setback. Anyone would experience stress as a result of this. He may be whipping himself over it. He may have hoped to be able to better support his family. This is extremely helpful if you can see him struggling rather than being self-centered. You can be a little bit more empathetic and approachable with this mindset, which is probably more important to him than being told he’s wrong or told to just snap out of it.

If he insists on taking his time, you should follow suit: Some of the men who are struggling in this way will not be coerced into giving up their space. You can sometimes try to compromise by offering to stay with friends while he gets his life in order. However, not all men will accept this. Therefore, if he insists on traveling, moving out, or doing anything else that needs to be done, try to make the most of the time. Waiting around for men to make a decision is not attractive. Instead, you want to actively work on yourself by hanging out with friends, going to counseling, doing things you enjoy, and keeping busy. This is much better than waiting or continuing to demand more from your husband when he is so resistant, which he will likely notice. Although I am aware that it is challenging, I can assure you that it will accelerate time and improve his perception of you.

Keep your communication positive: The fact of the matter is that many of these husbands eventually find their way out of their struggles or midlife crisis. Many only require time. Unfortunately, it is so easy to debate, pressure, and argue during this time that our marriage is frequently damaged. If we don’t play our cards right, the separation could last longer or even result in a divorce. As a result, I cannot emphasize enough how crucial it is to maintain supportive and encouraging communication. I am aware of how difficult this request is. But I also know that it’s harder to get back together when you fight, avoid each other, or misunderstand each other multiple times. Reconnecting during this is the best thing you can do. Some people do this by going to counseling, while others just keep a supportive relationship with their husband until the problems go away. Once they do, you might have to look at your marriage for problems from time to time, but it’s easier to do so once he’s in a better place. And at least while you were apart, you didn’t cause any more harm.

Leave a Comment